Dear You,
No, now that I think about it, not so dear! You fucking liar, you fucking asshole! You were the one who taught me that whole no-lies-among-friends mentality, so how did you imagine I would feel when I found out the truth? Or did you just hope I wouldn't? How stupid do you think I am? We've known each other since we were kids did you really think that I wouldn't find out? Let's face it, you're not nearly as bright as you think you are and that's a fact, because if you were why the fuck would you do what you do? Gosh, I haven't been that mad in ages! I'll tell you what though, it feels really good getting it all out!
Of course I'm not going to say anything. Of course I'm going to play it all cool and fine because I know that yelling at you isn't gonna do me much good. So, here's what I'm gonna do: I'm coming home because I made a promise and I always keep my promises but it's for a specific reason, not for you. So, I'm not coming to see you. I'm done dealing with other people's crap I have my own crap to deal with and I hate the fact that our relationship has mutated into something I can't even define anymore. This is not us; we used to tell each other everything, what the fuck happened? Is this the grown-up us? If that's it then I don't ever, ever wanna grow up!
Like I said, you taught me we don't lie to friends, we don't manipulate friends because friends are not family, the bonds we form with them depend on mutual trust and respect. You told me that at a time when people's feelings were the least of my worries but you made me better because you forced me to understand that those who genuinely cared about me (no matter how nasty or abusive I was to them) would not stay there forever. So, what am I suppose to say to you now? I've lived by your words, I never played any of you guys. I did it with family but then again manipulation and backstabbing is daily business with them. You were right, friends are important because no one guarantees they'll be there forever. So tell me now: what am I supposed to do with you?
I lied to you once. I've convinced myself that it doesn't count because I lied to everyone about it but that's not exactly true is it? I don't regret it, I'm glad I did it because otherwise who knows where I'd be now. Parents do tend to get a bit dramatic. Besides, the whole thing fixed itself: I'm now in England and I've put that whole part of my life behind me. I would say no harm done, except that's not true either and I have the scars to prove it.
I'm not coming back to Greece. I will keep writing to you because it helps me and because they told me I should put everything I can't say here. They were right, even though I didn't expect them to be. I guess it's easier to talk about the things that matter in my life to someone I know. That might not make much sense: I still love you, I just don't like you anymore.
Evey
p.s. That goes for Asgeir: please stop reading my crap!!
No, now that I think about it, not so dear! You fucking liar, you fucking asshole! You were the one who taught me that whole no-lies-among-friends mentality, so how did you imagine I would feel when I found out the truth? Or did you just hope I wouldn't? How stupid do you think I am? We've known each other since we were kids did you really think that I wouldn't find out? Let's face it, you're not nearly as bright as you think you are and that's a fact, because if you were why the fuck would you do what you do? Gosh, I haven't been that mad in ages! I'll tell you what though, it feels really good getting it all out!
Of course I'm not going to say anything. Of course I'm going to play it all cool and fine because I know that yelling at you isn't gonna do me much good. So, here's what I'm gonna do: I'm coming home because I made a promise and I always keep my promises but it's for a specific reason, not for you. So, I'm not coming to see you. I'm done dealing with other people's crap I have my own crap to deal with and I hate the fact that our relationship has mutated into something I can't even define anymore. This is not us; we used to tell each other everything, what the fuck happened? Is this the grown-up us? If that's it then I don't ever, ever wanna grow up!
Like I said, you taught me we don't lie to friends, we don't manipulate friends because friends are not family, the bonds we form with them depend on mutual trust and respect. You told me that at a time when people's feelings were the least of my worries but you made me better because you forced me to understand that those who genuinely cared about me (no matter how nasty or abusive I was to them) would not stay there forever. So, what am I suppose to say to you now? I've lived by your words, I never played any of you guys. I did it with family but then again manipulation and backstabbing is daily business with them. You were right, friends are important because no one guarantees they'll be there forever. So tell me now: what am I supposed to do with you?
I lied to you once. I've convinced myself that it doesn't count because I lied to everyone about it but that's not exactly true is it? I don't regret it, I'm glad I did it because otherwise who knows where I'd be now. Parents do tend to get a bit dramatic. Besides, the whole thing fixed itself: I'm now in England and I've put that whole part of my life behind me. I would say no harm done, except that's not true either and I have the scars to prove it.
I'm not coming back to Greece. I will keep writing to you because it helps me and because they told me I should put everything I can't say here. They were right, even though I didn't expect them to be. I guess it's easier to talk about the things that matter in my life to someone I know. That might not make much sense: I still love you, I just don't like you anymore.
Evey
p.s. That goes for Asgeir: please stop reading my crap!!
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