Dear You,
Bad things happened. Jack read some of the things I write here. He says he doesn't remember what he read but I don't believe him. I'm picking him up tomorrow. I did what I always do, I chose to retreat rather than let him face the full extent of my anger, which is never a good option. However, a combination of hayfever, insomnia and anxiety convinced him that I hated him and never wanted to see him or speak to him ever again. I had to Skype with him to clear the situation out and make him see what an idiot he was. This whole charade made me forget I was angry at him in the first place. I hate that because I shouldn't be this forgiving with something this serious but on the other hand I've missed him so much!
It's not the things I write here that bug me. It's how I come off through the lines. I might be wrong about this but I see myself as weak, sad, confused to borderline retarded and seriously nasty at times. I don't want people to see me like this, I want to be strong.
It was 35 degrees today. Tomorrow will supposedly be the hottest day in June. Can't wait. We went to the gynaecologist today, Lina and I. She was nervous, she kept eating candy till they called us in. Everything looked fine. I'll get my results next week. He perscribed some progesteron so that I can delay my period.
Jack's coming tomorrow around 8. I'll go pick him up from the airport.
xx
Evey
Bad things happened. Jack read some of the things I write here. He says he doesn't remember what he read but I don't believe him. I'm picking him up tomorrow. I did what I always do, I chose to retreat rather than let him face the full extent of my anger, which is never a good option. However, a combination of hayfever, insomnia and anxiety convinced him that I hated him and never wanted to see him or speak to him ever again. I had to Skype with him to clear the situation out and make him see what an idiot he was. This whole charade made me forget I was angry at him in the first place. I hate that because I shouldn't be this forgiving with something this serious but on the other hand I've missed him so much!
It's not the things I write here that bug me. It's how I come off through the lines. I might be wrong about this but I see myself as weak, sad, confused to borderline retarded and seriously nasty at times. I don't want people to see me like this, I want to be strong.
It was 35 degrees today. Tomorrow will supposedly be the hottest day in June. Can't wait. We went to the gynaecologist today, Lina and I. She was nervous, she kept eating candy till they called us in. Everything looked fine. I'll get my results next week. He perscribed some progesteron so that I can delay my period.
Jack's coming tomorrow around 8. I'll go pick him up from the airport.
xx
Evey
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