Greece (Athens) - Chapter 2

Dear You,

Bad things happened. Jack read some of the things I write here. He says he doesn't remember what he read but I don't believe him. I'm picking him up tomorrow. I did what I always do, I chose to retreat rather than let him face the full extent of my anger, which is never a good option. However, a combination of hayfever, insomnia and anxiety convinced him that I hated him and never wanted to see him or speak to him ever again. I had to Skype with him to clear the situation out and make him see what an idiot he was. This whole charade made me forget I was angry at him in the first place. I hate that because I shouldn't be this forgiving with something this serious but on the other hand I've missed him so much!

It's not the things I write here that bug me. It's how I come off through the lines. I might be wrong about this but I see myself as weak, sad, confused to borderline retarded and seriously nasty at times. I don't want people to see me like this, I want to be strong.

 It was 35 degrees today. Tomorrow will supposedly be the hottest day in June. Can't wait. We went to the gynaecologist today, Lina and I. She was nervous, she kept eating candy till they called us in. Everything looked fine. I'll get my results next week. He perscribed some progesteron so that I can delay my period.

Jack's coming tomorrow around 8. I'll go pick him up from the airport.

xx
Evey

Greece (Agrinio) - Chapter 1

Dear You,

I can say with absolute certainty that I am glad you weren't the asshole I expected you to be. You hugged me and told me how much you missed me, how much you love me, how much you wish we skyped more often so that you could talk to me because I'm the only one who understands. And then we got drunk which was really nice. I said some of the things I've been writing here. The truth is I miss you too and I wish I could take you with me, to England because right now I'm sort on the allies department.

Gramma died. Lina took it very badly. It's just that it happened at a time when she had boy and uni trouble and it was quite a blow. I'm not sure exactly how i should feel about it. I'm not sure I'm feeling anything. I don't know if thats just me feeling numb or if that nothingness is returning and soon everything will go away. But like I said Lina's not doing too good and I have to be strong for her. I'm in a hurry now I have to meet Kat and go at Mikel's and get some mindblowing coffee but I ll write again soon.

Kisses,
Evey

Southampton - Chapter 35

Dear You,

I guess this is my last chapter before Greece. I just wanted to say that to some extent I've come to understand how you felt before you told me the truth all those years ago. It shouldn't have been easy. But then again you were drunk. I'm sorry if I was cruel to you. I can't really remember what I said to you. Not that it matters anymore. It's just that I'll see you in a few days and that has sort of sparked weird memories. I sort of started packing today. I made a list so that I won't forget stuff.

We went out yesterday. I'd gotten tickets for Abbie, Isa and Jack for Constellations at the Nuffield theatre. I was working at the same night so i thought it'd be fun. I was doing the shop which is always cool and more interesting than just checking tickets. The performance was really good. Afterwards we went at the Alex for drinks and Stephen joined us so it was really cool. It was a shame Abbie had to leave early to catch a train for Bournemouth. Next time I hope she stays more I like her a lot and we haven't had the chance to hang out a lot because of where she lives. Anyway, in the end we said good-bye and parted. I'll see everyone after we come back from Greece. I walked with Jack near uni and then we had to go to oposite directions. I'm going to see him in ten days. And that was the moment when I panicked.

Do you remembered when I told you about my fab plan to sever all connections with him? Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work. Seriously, the thought that I'd never ever talk to him again scared the shit out of me. I'm telling you I just can't do that. He's become too important and I've got so few friends right now, I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again! So much for being fucking sensible. Fuck's sake! And I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm gonna have to deal with a pile of shit I've left behind. This is the moment I prove that I'm truly brave. Running is easy; i never understood why people admired me for going away with such ease. It's sticking around and facing your problems that shows what kind of person one is. No back-up, no crutches, just me. Boy, this is gonna be fun! I'll have to be mean and nasty again, I'll have to be who I was three years ago. So, I guess I'll see you, the real you, the proper you, on Monday. Please don't be a jerk. Right now, I need a friend not a punching bag.

Cya,
Evey