Dear You,
I spoke with Lina last night. And when I say night, I mean the deep, deep, blackest night, like 2:00 so technically morning. She broke up with that guy she's been seeing and she was a little upset. She's worrying she's forming a pattern. You know, meeting someone she's not especially attracted to, agreeing to go out with him, starting to like him and then, just when she feels there is the chance of a meaningful connection between them, getting damped. Yeah, not very nice. I think she's exaggerating a bit. I told her so but she just wouldn't listen! In the end she made me promise that I would find her some nice English guy to hook up with while she's here. Which is basically Lina's way of telling me I need to take her out and get her so drunk she'll have no memory of what happened that night and she can make up her own little story.
I feel so tired right now, I think I'll go to bed early tonight. I had to go to the range today for my weekly archery training and there were no buses so I walked. It's a good thing I'm not working tomorrow, I'm meeting Isa instead, we're going to the gym, which basically means I'll just keep running on the treadmill for an hour while fit people lift weights and do push-ups. All I know is that I need to drop a few sizes and I am, honest, it's just that I need to keep going.
I spoke with my parents today. I couldn't tell them that I've made my mind, that I'm staying here for good. I will eventually, I just was too tired today plus dad kept talking about transfering more money in my accounts and I've learnt not to interrupt him when he's in the giving mood. Yes, my family is bizarre, tell me something I don't know! Of course there's that sense of dread that keeps popping up now and again just to whisper that things are too good to be true and that it's just a matter of time before something goes wrong. I think I know what that might be. But, as I said yesterday, I'm taking care of it and if things go as planned I'll be just fine! Lina says I'm a robot but I always took that as a compliment. Not forming romantic attachments means you won't get hurt when they inevitably break. It's true that I don't get to experience lots of things other people do but I do get my peace of mind and a pain-free life. You'd think Lina would remember what happened the last time I let myself fall for someone but all she does is judge me. In any case, I'm not so eager to relive those feelings so yes, I like being a robot and I will fight to stay this way! I'm determined to keep telling that to myself until everything that contradicts it has been banished from my mind.
I truly hope you're feeling better. Lina says you do but I know better than that. I hope you both enjoy the heartbreak club and think about how you feel now next time you try to convince me love is something great! Now I'll just sign off, fall on my double bed, put my headphones on and listen to Ode to Joy while you guys eat your way out of the fridge in order to feel better. No, thank you!
Goodnight!
Evey
I spoke with Lina last night. And when I say night, I mean the deep, deep, blackest night, like 2:00 so technically morning. She broke up with that guy she's been seeing and she was a little upset. She's worrying she's forming a pattern. You know, meeting someone she's not especially attracted to, agreeing to go out with him, starting to like him and then, just when she feels there is the chance of a meaningful connection between them, getting damped. Yeah, not very nice. I think she's exaggerating a bit. I told her so but she just wouldn't listen! In the end she made me promise that I would find her some nice English guy to hook up with while she's here. Which is basically Lina's way of telling me I need to take her out and get her so drunk she'll have no memory of what happened that night and she can make up her own little story.
I feel so tired right now, I think I'll go to bed early tonight. I had to go to the range today for my weekly archery training and there were no buses so I walked. It's a good thing I'm not working tomorrow, I'm meeting Isa instead, we're going to the gym, which basically means I'll just keep running on the treadmill for an hour while fit people lift weights and do push-ups. All I know is that I need to drop a few sizes and I am, honest, it's just that I need to keep going.
I spoke with my parents today. I couldn't tell them that I've made my mind, that I'm staying here for good. I will eventually, I just was too tired today plus dad kept talking about transfering more money in my accounts and I've learnt not to interrupt him when he's in the giving mood. Yes, my family is bizarre, tell me something I don't know! Of course there's that sense of dread that keeps popping up now and again just to whisper that things are too good to be true and that it's just a matter of time before something goes wrong. I think I know what that might be. But, as I said yesterday, I'm taking care of it and if things go as planned I'll be just fine! Lina says I'm a robot but I always took that as a compliment. Not forming romantic attachments means you won't get hurt when they inevitably break. It's true that I don't get to experience lots of things other people do but I do get my peace of mind and a pain-free life. You'd think Lina would remember what happened the last time I let myself fall for someone but all she does is judge me. In any case, I'm not so eager to relive those feelings so yes, I like being a robot and I will fight to stay this way! I'm determined to keep telling that to myself until everything that contradicts it has been banished from my mind.
I truly hope you're feeling better. Lina says you do but I know better than that. I hope you both enjoy the heartbreak club and think about how you feel now next time you try to convince me love is something great! Now I'll just sign off, fall on my double bed, put my headphones on and listen to Ode to Joy while you guys eat your way out of the fridge in order to feel better. No, thank you!
Goodnight!
Evey
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